I can't believe Bowen is 4 months old, this summer has flown by and now Bear has been in 1st grade for six weeks. So many changes happening daily at times I feel hourly. At night I put my head on my pillow more exhausted than I've ever know but happier and more content than I could dream.

This little lady has already established she will not be like her brothers. So many precious and funny faces and when she gets mad, WHOO! The scream could peel the paint off my walls. Nonetheless she is a doll and generally has a reason for the temper!

I look forward to the next few months and all the joys that my three miracles will bring!

My daughter

There she is Bowen Grace Burgess! Born May 12, 2010 at 5:33p.m. weighing 6lbs. 6oz. at 19 1/2 inches in length.

I honestly never dreamed first that I would be a mother to three children but secondly that I would have a little girl. I just didn't think of myself as the Mom to anything other than boys. It's only been 10 days but I can tell you without hesitation I am glad God decided differently for our family. She is healthy and now weighs 6lbs. 12 oz. she gained 8 oz. just this week, my little piggy! We were so grateful to be able to take her home with us from the hospital and have that wonderful experience that we did not have with either of the boys. Those first couple of nights we felt like newbies and didn't sleep for fear we'd miss something. I didn't put her down besides to change her the entire first night. I just wanted to soak it all in.

To say we are blessed doesn't describe my heart right now, ever moment I am more in love with her. This little girl is the period on one very long nine months and one incredibly interesting and at times difficult fertility journeys. Our family is now heavenly complete and Earthly content. I am covered in joy and honored to be the Momma of these three amazing Monkeys and can't wait to see how our story will unfold.

B-L-E-S-S-E-D!

As I sit here I am on a few days of rest trying to clear up an infection and get my blood pressure back in order before our daughter makes her grand entrance. The boys are so excited and ask me daily how she is doing and if it's almost time to go to the hospital. They are so funny rubbing my tummy and talking through the microphone (aka my bellybutton) to her. I am so thankful they are already so in love with the little princess monkey. Now as for Daddy he isn't saying a lot he is taking care of me and the boys and in his quiet way I know he is excited to soon be the father of three and have a Daddy's girl:)

So it won't be long now, the doctor said she is weighing a grand total of 5 lbs. 3 oz. according to their closest estimate. So I am going to take care of Baby Momma and keep her safe and sound a few more weeks. She is VERY active which is comforting and I appreciate feeling and knowing she is happy in her cramped quarters! I have a recheck tomorrow for my blood pressure and her heart rate, prayerfully everything will be settled down and we can go through the next few weeks without event. That is my prayer. I am feeling rather euphoric today, which for me is a bit odd. I think it's her though letting me know she is almost ready to meet us and come into our family. Ah, how blessed and joy-filled I am at MY Savior that allows such incredible blessings to manifest in this way!

Odds and Such

I have not been active in blogging as of late. No reason just busy and feeling as if the words aren't there. That is totally hilarious since there is a running conversation constantly going in my head! I am so ready to welcome Bowen Grace into this world. With that being said there are so many unknowns that I wish I had control over and could nail down. The biggest being this summer. Barrett and Brock are at such a fun and wonderful age. I want them to have a summer full of learning and fun, but I can't see how all it will work out with a newborn and exhausted Mommy. I am and have been praying about it, and I know God is smiling at my concern. Bear is so sweet right now and worried about my health. He sees how tired I am right now and that my activities are limited. He told me on Sunday Bowen was going to fall out the next time I pee. That completely cracked me up!! From the mouth of the babe:)

So I am in the home stretch and praying that the few task I want to get done I can check off. I am also praying that she doesn't come at a strange time and we have childcare for the boys. It is hard not having family close. Bowen is kicking so much now and is so low, what a different experience from being pregnant with the boys. What a unique an perfectly formed little person that I CANNOT wait to meet. Yesterday I washed the sea of pink and marveled at how different life will be with three children no less one being a girl. How wonderful God sees fit to bless us in this way. 9 years ago I was so sad and I thought we may never have any let alone to have 3!! Wow!!! I am in awe of my creator.

New Year's ramble

I am in a funk, okay maybe not a real funk but I feel like I have so much to accomplish so many books to read, and planning to do before this baby arrives. But, somehow with all that's looming I just want to snuggle under a blanket:) I guess with the New Year's arrival and the cold temps it's easier to want to decompress and just "be".

I watch the boys with their simplicity, they wake up with no set agenda for their day and are happy with pretty much whatever is thrown at them. I wonder when we loose that and why? What a great quality to keep into adulthood. Alfred has maintained that carefree whatever my day may bring attitude. It makes me jealous sometimes that his mental picture can blow like the wind depending on the needs of those around him. It truly is one his most amazing qualities and so opposite from my rigid plan each second mentality. That's why we are a good match I suppose our children are exposed to both and hopefully won't be too far one way or the other. Oh goodness I am rambling aren't I? I guess it's just that type of day:)

A great day

I am grateful my family was able to travel to Memphis to be with Mom and Dad this Christmas, despite the fact Alfred's plane was cancelled on Christmas Eve and he didn't make it until Christmas Day. Even that small snag didn't change how wonderful and how many memories we made this year. The boys are still talking about how much fun they had with Uncle Gabe, Aunt Amy, Ethan and baby Evan. We haven't all been together in over 2 years so this was long overdue.

I am so proud of my boys and even though they don't always make choices that please me or God I know that they are being formed into amazing men that will follow God and His leading. Their personalities are mystifying and dumbfound me at times. I am overwhelmed again to be their Mom and to have so many opportunities to love on them and tell them how I adore them. We are home now and today was one of those rare and perfect days that they might not remember but I won't forget. We didn't get out of our jammies from sun-up to sun-down. Alfred worked and played in Bear's room the ENTIRE day getting all the lego ships and buildings just so. He was so completely unselfish with his time and his attention it was fantastic to watch. Brock snuggled for a long nap in my bed and we watch a movie and made up silly songs. It was indeed perfect. This is a day I want to look back on when they are teenagers and are busy, too busy growing up to hang with me.

God knew I needed these little men first in my life to strengthen my own faith and my own view of God as a man and still God. What perfection He adds to each of our lives, it's just up to us to seek it out. What does God want to show us this new year? What does He want to show us about ourselves through our children? Don't think for a minute that your children aren't there as a tool to teach you about the glory of God. He is in ALL things, and He uses ALL opportunities to shine!

MPFBC Christmas 2009

I have been "hearing" about a program from the boys for weeks now. Everyday they come home from school and they tell me about their songs and Bear shows me how he must act taking care of Mary and baby Jesus. I thought since I had taught music and had done a couple of programs I had a good idea of what we were in for, but what a surprise. I tend to not go gaga when my boys do thing, just not my personality, but when Alfred and I went to our seat on the front row dead center I felt like I had little child stars. Seriously the pregnancy hormones were flowing! Barrett and Melissa, his classmate and friend, played Joseph and Mary. Barrett adores Melissa and he told me several afternoons when he came home from school that it was his job to take care of her. From the beginning he did just that and was an absolute doll. I don't use that word often for Barrett but somehow he wasn't my rough strong-willed opinionated child he was truly Joseph.

Brock's class were the heavenly host and oh my was Brock a true angel. Because of his personality this wasn't a stretch but he outdid my expectations and once again showed his love for music. He sang so loudly and smiled. He had told me he didn't like his halo and when I saw him I couldn't help but laugh. I am not sure if there was not one that fit but he looked as if he had a crazy-lady's hat atop his head. But somehow it looked perfect perched on his head! Am I gushing, my I sure hope so. I am their Mother and I adore them more than any other so if I can't gush no one can:)

I thought back on the dozens of plays I did at Marion First Baptist and Avondale Elementary School. Did I give my teachers fits? No doubt. Did my sweet Mother often shake her head and wonder why she cast her own child in the Christmas play? Every year. But now as a Mother I can also imagine that melted away on opening night when I did the unexpected and delivered my lines and sang like the angels. The joy of being Barrett and Brock's Mother is in the hundreds of little things, and occasionally the big ones!

Where does the time go? I can't believe these two monkeys and how quickly they've grown. We get wrapped up in this lifetime and the day to day weights that it brings but oh how brief our time on this planet. Before I can blink they will be calling from halfway around the world or maybe if I am lucky across town. As we get ready for all the fun of this season I am reminded to soak it all in. All the wonder through their eyes of the baby Jesus and the surprises that only Santa can bring. I am thrilled they love to wake up and come kiss my face first thing in the morning, and I am blessed they are on loan from Jesus for my keeping...even if it is for only a blink:)

Soon pictures like this will be scarce, the boys will have to share the spotlight with their little brother or sister. But for now at least they are happy posing for pictures as we make homemade pizza. I am very grateful that they love each other so much and they wake up each morning excited to play together.

Since beginning Kindergarten Bear brings home his work from the day along with a picture he's drawn for Brock. Last week he brought home one that brought tears to my eyes. He drew a picture of him and his brother holding hands under a rainbow. When he gave it to Brock he said, "You will always be my best friend." I could not have asked for a sweeter more perfect moment right then. They weren't talking to me, Bear wasn't doing it to get favor with me. He did that simple act because his brother loves his pictures and at this stage of their young lives they truly are the best of friends.

Fall 2009

I know that everyday I wake up I am one day closer to being with my Savior and one day closer to eternity. I think we tend to forget that with our business and short attention spans. I am so grateful to be using my time here on this planet to teach and train these little men. I am not worthy to be their Mommy but I am so incredibly grateful to have to opportunity to make memories and to instill truth into their little lives. They are such a joy and make me strive to be the best Mommy I can possible be for them. As I dream of this next precious child that God is forming within me, I pray that the boys will know our love is the same and overflowing. I want our family to be completely centered on Jesus and giving Him all the praise for the perfection He has created in this unit. If I sound over the top then good, I don't think we can ever have enough praise for the blessing of our children. It is not by accident that scriptures talks about the relationship between children and parents. This is at the heart of our Savior. So it too should be at our very center.

Milkshake with my brother

It is incredible to watch these two monkeys. I am so thankful that God allowed these two to be born so close together. They are very different but they are such good friends. Every morning Alfred and I listen to them begin their morning so happy playing Lego's and talking to each other. Barrett is generally giving instructions and Brock sweetly listening to his big brother. In the last several months they have fallen into this incredible rhythm and they are both so giving and kind with the other. I feel guilty at times because they play and entertain each other for so long that they don't need me like they one did. I suppose that too is God's way of "planning" our family since we are having a new baby in May 2010. Oh wait did I forget to mention that:)

Burgess monkey #3 was OBVIOUSLY a God thing and although a huge shock we are thrilled. Causing me/us to lean a little harder on our Jesus. On Tuesday I have an ultrasound and we will see and hear the baby, I can't wait for that! I sometimes wonder why God chose this timing and this path for us but then I look at Bear and Brock as I choke back tears and simply say thank you to a God bigger than me or my questions!

A new season

It is so hard to figure out why this is like a dream. Maybe because we lived in this house before or maybe because I have dreamed of the boys being this particular age for so long. Whatever is the case this is a surreal and wonderful season we've just entered into as a family. As of today we have been in our house in Stone Mountain for 2 weeks. Barrett has been in Kindergarten for 2 weeks and absolutely loves it. He gets in the van ever afternoon so excited to tell me what he's learned and show me his "homework". I honestly pray he ALWAYS has this zeal for school. Brock and I have had the gift of time. The two of us have never had this kind of time without big brother and although he is lonely at times I know he is loving it as much as I am. He is such an amazing helper and has the most gentle nature. I am so blessed by the incredible differences that compliment each of my boy's personalities. It is a joy. I have so many little stories from the move that I am going to take the time and blog over the next few weeks. Things I don't want to forget as the monkeys grow and mature. I want to remember this special time and this season just as it is right now, crisp and fresh!!

Beginnings of our move to Cross Pointe

So it's official and it's really happening, we are moving back and yes I did say back to Atlanta or rather Stone Mountain. In 2 short weeks we will be leaving this wonderful city, Austin, and going to begin a new chapter in the never boring Burgess story. I am filled with excitement and anticipation as this journey begins. Cross Pointe Church will be our new home and Alfred is going to be the Family Pastor under Dr. James Merritt. Pretty cool God-size stuff if you ask me. Now I only need God-size patience. Eh, not to much to ask Him, he daily gives me doses:)

At the present I have a great deal of things running through my head about our time here with our GHBC family but I am letting that simmer a few more days before I blog.

I haven't blogged here since I've worked on the one for bear's heart journey but now feel the need to resume. This has been a crazy but good week with nothing of great significance happening. Bear continues to do amazingly well and we were able to get out in the sprinkler for a couple of hours today which make him wildly happy. We also went to the movies yesterday and saw several of his friends from church, that really made him and me feel like our life was returning to normal. The boys are playing doctor alot and each of them have their own little medical bag they take turns working on me or one of their animal friends. It's hilarious hearing them ask, "What hurts". They miss my Mom and Dad alot. This picture was their attempt to look like "Poppa sleeping". Bear thinks he looks the most like his because he doesn't wrinkle his eyelids and his hands match Poppa's perfectly! HAHA

I am so grateful to have this time to watch them play and imagine and I have to remind myself almost daily to sit and imagine with them. This time is so short and so wonderful and it will be gone before Alfred or I realize it. They really are my monkeys!!!

Extra Special Mommy Moments

So we've been hanging out on "quarantine" for the last week and it's been wonderful. Not only have I accomplished several items on my to do list but Bear and I have had a great time. Last Wednesday Brock stayed home with us and we had such a fun day. It was the type day where everything clicked and we were all in sync. I got the closet that Alfred and I share cleaned out and stuff that needed to be bagged up for Goodwill ready. It took about 3 hours but the boys were patient and played while I worked. Then as a reward we went and picked up Chick fil A and headed to a new park for a picnic. Now I know most parents say this about their children, but Brock is a very funny child. I truly have a difficult time not laughing at most of what comes out of his mouth. For a 3 1/2 yr. old he has quite the deep voice with a mix of southern drawl and some flavor we haven't quite figured out thrown in the mix. We are sitting eating our lunch at a picnic table and Brock looks at Barrett and says, "Beautiful day to eat some chicken outside." That kid just cracks us up!!! We played on the play scape for awhile pretending it was a pirate ship and we had alligators in the waters below. Brock was yelling constantly "Mom I can't protect you if you get off the ship."  Barrett then told me he needed to go potty and since there were a lot of trees I figured we could make use of one or two. I told Bear to head over to the farthest tree and do his business but I didn't clarify he needed to face away from the very busy road that is adjacent to the park. About the time he commerced  I yelled stop your going to get Mommy arrested, and then I scared Brock so bad that he wet his pants. It was hilarious to say the least. I apologized for yelling and then told Barrett why he should be discreet when using public trees. haha! It was hot that day so I told Brock his shorts would dry soon and if he didn't mind we didn't have to leave just yet. Of course that was fine with him, he is not my finicky child. After spending the rest of our time defending the pirate ship from alligators we were hot, stinky, and tired. We went and got ice cream before heading home and sat in the backyard eating our vanilla cones and talking about how much the ants wanted our sugary goodness. A bath, book, and snuggling in Mommy's bed completed our time. Brock said it best, " God made our family the most wonderful." My sentiments exactly!

Will my heart still be special?

It has been 5 years 3 months and 12 days since Barrett had his open heart surgery. In one sense it seems like yesterday and in another a lifetime ago. Mentally we have been preparing and hearing about #2 for several year, but emotionally I feel as if this is the first time. He was so perfect and so so small. I didn't know I was staring into the face of a fiercely passionate child that does nothing without exuberance. I didn't know I was holding the 5 tiny fingers of a child that loves so deeply he makes everyone around him feel special. I didn't know 5 years ago that this was a child who would dare to test my every resolve yet whose prayers would bring tears to my eyes.

 This child my oldest my first-born is such a gift in every way and when he heard he was being "unzipped" and his heart was going to be fixed he only had one question...."Will my heart still be special?" How remarkable at 5 years old to say such a thing.  In the days that followed that conversation I have thought about that question and have ask myself if we as Christian care or think about our heart's specialness to God. What I mean is, He created us but do you think we understand how SPECIAL our hearts are to Him? What a profound difference it would make in our day to day life if our actions reflected the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. 

"The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid." Hebrews 13:6

Alfred and I have been praying for several months about Barrett's schooling next year. He is going to begin kindergarten and never did I think he would NOT enter a traditional public school setting. Since the beginning of our marriage Alfred and I have had very strong opinions about education. For instance privately educated children tend to be more spoiled and not authentic in their faith, public schools produced fairly well-rounded kids but only if those said children were in the best districts. And then there was the home-schooled children. Oh those poor children who's Mother was constantly hovering and wanted her children to remain in a protective bubble. But something happened, the more we have ministered to different families the more we've been exposed to homeschooling and somewhere over the last 3 years the stereo-type we once held to has been shattered. 

I have been reading extensively over the last few months about various families that homeschool, the different academic models, and why this is a viable option for education. The more I have read the more excited I've become. We no longer feel that there is a "type" of child that needs a homeschool environment, but God directs all types of families in this journey. As Alfred and I begin down this path with much much prayer and trepidation, I once again am exceeding thankful that God is in charge and not me, for if it was me I would be running for the hills right about now. Why God would be prompt me to teach my child is something almost laughable but nonetheless divine and for that I can only say, "Thank you". So as we begin the months of preparation and the research commences I will document this time so that I can look back on God's blessings, my mishaps, and my monkeys amazing educational journey!

Nicaraguan brothers

What a joy to have our good friend Guillermo from Nicaragua in Austin with us. This past weekend was our annual GIC (Global Impact Conference) and several months ago Alfred knew it was be extremely important for Guillermo to come and be apart of the weekend. The teenagers who went to Nicaragua last July were thrilled to see him not to mention the adults, but I think Alfred was the most excited. When you ask Alfred about Nicaragua or Chosen Children he becomes this impassioned talker. Truly he loves those people and the country. When he talks and shares about Nicaragua there is a fire that is contagious. He and Guillermo have developed such a dear friendship over the last 9 years. We are grateful that Jesus binds us to people all over the world to bring glory to His name. 

Super-duper Spring Break 2009

I could not have planned a better or more perfect Spring Break for my monkeys. Truth be told that is probably why it was so wonderful because it wasn't planned. We were able to go on a whim after Barrett's Heart Cath. on 3/13/09. He did so well that we knew we needed to seize the opportunity and head to Memphis. The boys stayed up late, they ate crazy stuff that isn't apart of their normal everyday diet and we visited a museum and planetarium.  They gave millions of hugs and kisses to NeeNay and Poppa and every few minutes you could hear Bear ask, "Poppa, you okay?" Such wonderful priceless moments and I soak them all in. I am so blessed by these two monkeys, I get frustrated at times and it is then I sit back and remind myself of the great joy Alfred and I have in raising and training up these two little men. JOY - pure and simple!!

Late 2009 List

So January is just days from closing out and on with February and so with my life moving far too quickly. Normally at this point I have written out a list of things I want to accomplish and desire to see God reveal or do in my life. Since I had my surgery and most of January has been unusually crazy and painful to say the least! So here is my year's wish list/prayer list.

 I want to see God do something amazing in our life, I want Him to sell our house in Atlanta and lift that weight off us. However we have seen our needs met time and again over the last 24 months.  I desire to homeschool Barrett and to see things within myself that can only be achieved through teaching him. God has something BIG within that I KNOW it.  I want church to not be so difficult, but rather a place of glory where people's wants are so secondary.  I desire to be the Mommy that leads my little men to be great men for Jesus and lay a foundation so secure they can only see Him. 

Nice....but it is just a list until I begin the work and then He can do His thing and all His majesty is shown to all that know the Burgess family.