New Year's ramble

I am in a funk, okay maybe not a real funk but I feel like I have so much to accomplish so many books to read, and planning to do before this baby arrives. But, somehow with all that's looming I just want to snuggle under a blanket:) I guess with the New Year's arrival and the cold temps it's easier to want to decompress and just "be".

I watch the boys with their simplicity, they wake up with no set agenda for their day and are happy with pretty much whatever is thrown at them. I wonder when we loose that and why? What a great quality to keep into adulthood. Alfred has maintained that carefree whatever my day may bring attitude. It makes me jealous sometimes that his mental picture can blow like the wind depending on the needs of those around him. It truly is one his most amazing qualities and so opposite from my rigid plan each second mentality. That's why we are a good match I suppose our children are exposed to both and hopefully won't be too far one way or the other. Oh goodness I am rambling aren't I? I guess it's just that type of day:)

A great day

I am grateful my family was able to travel to Memphis to be with Mom and Dad this Christmas, despite the fact Alfred's plane was cancelled on Christmas Eve and he didn't make it until Christmas Day. Even that small snag didn't change how wonderful and how many memories we made this year. The boys are still talking about how much fun they had with Uncle Gabe, Aunt Amy, Ethan and baby Evan. We haven't all been together in over 2 years so this was long overdue.

I am so proud of my boys and even though they don't always make choices that please me or God I know that they are being formed into amazing men that will follow God and His leading. Their personalities are mystifying and dumbfound me at times. I am overwhelmed again to be their Mom and to have so many opportunities to love on them and tell them how I adore them. We are home now and today was one of those rare and perfect days that they might not remember but I won't forget. We didn't get out of our jammies from sun-up to sun-down. Alfred worked and played in Bear's room the ENTIRE day getting all the lego ships and buildings just so. He was so completely unselfish with his time and his attention it was fantastic to watch. Brock snuggled for a long nap in my bed and we watch a movie and made up silly songs. It was indeed perfect. This is a day I want to look back on when they are teenagers and are busy, too busy growing up to hang with me.

God knew I needed these little men first in my life to strengthen my own faith and my own view of God as a man and still God. What perfection He adds to each of our lives, it's just up to us to seek it out. What does God want to show us this new year? What does He want to show us about ourselves through our children? Don't think for a minute that your children aren't there as a tool to teach you about the glory of God. He is in ALL things, and He uses ALL opportunities to shine!

MPFBC Christmas 2009

I have been "hearing" about a program from the boys for weeks now. Everyday they come home from school and they tell me about their songs and Bear shows me how he must act taking care of Mary and baby Jesus. I thought since I had taught music and had done a couple of programs I had a good idea of what we were in for, but what a surprise. I tend to not go gaga when my boys do thing, just not my personality, but when Alfred and I went to our seat on the front row dead center I felt like I had little child stars. Seriously the pregnancy hormones were flowing! Barrett and Melissa, his classmate and friend, played Joseph and Mary. Barrett adores Melissa and he told me several afternoons when he came home from school that it was his job to take care of her. From the beginning he did just that and was an absolute doll. I don't use that word often for Barrett but somehow he wasn't my rough strong-willed opinionated child he was truly Joseph.

Brock's class were the heavenly host and oh my was Brock a true angel. Because of his personality this wasn't a stretch but he outdid my expectations and once again showed his love for music. He sang so loudly and smiled. He had told me he didn't like his halo and when I saw him I couldn't help but laugh. I am not sure if there was not one that fit but he looked as if he had a crazy-lady's hat atop his head. But somehow it looked perfect perched on his head! Am I gushing, my I sure hope so. I am their Mother and I adore them more than any other so if I can't gush no one can:)

I thought back on the dozens of plays I did at Marion First Baptist and Avondale Elementary School. Did I give my teachers fits? No doubt. Did my sweet Mother often shake her head and wonder why she cast her own child in the Christmas play? Every year. But now as a Mother I can also imagine that melted away on opening night when I did the unexpected and delivered my lines and sang like the angels. The joy of being Barrett and Brock's Mother is in the hundreds of little things, and occasionally the big ones!

Where does the time go? I can't believe these two monkeys and how quickly they've grown. We get wrapped up in this lifetime and the day to day weights that it brings but oh how brief our time on this planet. Before I can blink they will be calling from halfway around the world or maybe if I am lucky across town. As we get ready for all the fun of this season I am reminded to soak it all in. All the wonder through their eyes of the baby Jesus and the surprises that only Santa can bring. I am thrilled they love to wake up and come kiss my face first thing in the morning, and I am blessed they are on loan from Jesus for my keeping...even if it is for only a blink:)

Soon pictures like this will be scarce, the boys will have to share the spotlight with their little brother or sister. But for now at least they are happy posing for pictures as we make homemade pizza. I am very grateful that they love each other so much and they wake up each morning excited to play together.

Since beginning Kindergarten Bear brings home his work from the day along with a picture he's drawn for Brock. Last week he brought home one that brought tears to my eyes. He drew a picture of him and his brother holding hands under a rainbow. When he gave it to Brock he said, "You will always be my best friend." I could not have asked for a sweeter more perfect moment right then. They weren't talking to me, Bear wasn't doing it to get favor with me. He did that simple act because his brother loves his pictures and at this stage of their young lives they truly are the best of friends.

Fall 2009

I know that everyday I wake up I am one day closer to being with my Savior and one day closer to eternity. I think we tend to forget that with our business and short attention spans. I am so grateful to be using my time here on this planet to teach and train these little men. I am not worthy to be their Mommy but I am so incredibly grateful to have to opportunity to make memories and to instill truth into their little lives. They are such a joy and make me strive to be the best Mommy I can possible be for them. As I dream of this next precious child that God is forming within me, I pray that the boys will know our love is the same and overflowing. I want our family to be completely centered on Jesus and giving Him all the praise for the perfection He has created in this unit. If I sound over the top then good, I don't think we can ever have enough praise for the blessing of our children. It is not by accident that scriptures talks about the relationship between children and parents. This is at the heart of our Savior. So it too should be at our very center.

Milkshake with my brother

It is incredible to watch these two monkeys. I am so thankful that God allowed these two to be born so close together. They are very different but they are such good friends. Every morning Alfred and I listen to them begin their morning so happy playing Lego's and talking to each other. Barrett is generally giving instructions and Brock sweetly listening to his big brother. In the last several months they have fallen into this incredible rhythm and they are both so giving and kind with the other. I feel guilty at times because they play and entertain each other for so long that they don't need me like they one did. I suppose that too is God's way of "planning" our family since we are having a new baby in May 2010. Oh wait did I forget to mention that:)

Burgess monkey #3 was OBVIOUSLY a God thing and although a huge shock we are thrilled. Causing me/us to lean a little harder on our Jesus. On Tuesday I have an ultrasound and we will see and hear the baby, I can't wait for that! I sometimes wonder why God chose this timing and this path for us but then I look at Bear and Brock as I choke back tears and simply say thank you to a God bigger than me or my questions!